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  • Writer's picturePinar Giuggiola

"I want it!" Upon Dreams and Getting into Action...

I want to change my home. I want to change my job. Actually I want to leave this industry at all. I want to go on a diet. I want to quit smoking. I want to move to coast side. I want a better relationship... I want... we want and we always dream of. What about getting into action part? Our wishes and dreams are just like the fireworks we set off, either creates a colorful feast in the sky for minutes or they fade unwilling, without any sparks after rising for 100-150 metres... Years ago, one day at a workshop that I participated, subject was “to want”. Back then I was dreaming of moving from Anatolia side to European side of Istanbul. That was my biggest wish. Organizer of the workshop called for two volunteers and I was one of them. He passed a pencil to us and said “If this was the thing you want, what would you do?” While I was getting ready to look more carefully to the pencil, my friend reached and grabbed the pencil. Organizer said “Look. You can tell who really wants it.” I was really demoralized at that time. However back in real life I was able to move to Anatolia side five years later.

What is it that holding us back? Isn’t just wanting enough... What do we need for dreams and getting into action?... The thing is there is an intent under every behavior and this intent arises from our need and this need is always related to “me”. For example, I got thirsty and I need to drink water and this need is only related to me. I intend to get up and fulfill my intent. I poured myself a glass of water and drank. Do you know what I actually did? I connected to my need of “drinking water”. Going on a diet, quitting smoking... we need to search and connect with the need underneath these wishes and dreams. Dreams and getting into action are bound to this need*.

Yet how? Is everything as easy as “getting thirsty-connecting to the need of drinking water”? With the guidance of my coaching sessions, I can say that connecting with our needs is a journey. Each of us is unique and we each have our own paths. Connecting with our needs starts with staying in the moment, describing what we are experiencing and defining it’s reflections on our body. Our thoughts, our feelings and our physical reactions are all one package. There is no thinking without feeling*. We can connect with the emerging feeling without judging and connecting with our feelings opens us the doors of awareness.

Yet how?... Now, at this moment, I want to give an example from myself. News just said “Second wave is expected in Coronavirus pandemic.” and I froze. / As a reaction, what was I thinking, feeling? -With these news, for a moment I thought about the probability of this virus infecting my family and beloved ones and a chill ran down my back. / What was the reflection of these thoughts and feelings on my body, what was I going through? -I noticed a burning in my stomach and I connected with that feeling... as I connect, I saw my stomach is like a stone... and I started to define that stone...what did it look like...did it have a color, a shape, a smell... I continued defining... / What did I experience as I define the stone in my stomach? The anxiety I felt due to Coronavirus news, scenerios I created in my mind related to news are replaced with something else and invited me to stay at the moment and witness the process I am going through*. Only physical connection is tangible. Connecting with our needs starts with connecting with whatever we are experiencing in our lives*.

Now lets come to our “I want” list. We had asked if just wanting is enough. In this case, we can easily say that just wanting is not enough. There is a big difference between wanting something and intending to do something. That intent is what gets us off of our chair and gets us into action, it is very clear. The lead role that ignites our dreams and sustains the action in full speed is our one and only “need”.

*With appreciation and thanks to Hanna Nita Scherler.


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